I should easily be able to run under 4:20. I've run a 1:50 half. But I keep hitting mental and physical road blocks and my times end up being consistently the same. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't embarrassed by my time. I know I barely trained for this race but I just know in my heart of hearts I SHOULD be able to run faster. And although I said I was going to "quit" the marathon, I know thats not possible. I can't quit before I've run a successful marathon, I just can't. I want to run a marathon where my splits vary in seconds, not minutes. I want to run a marathon where my pace is under 10 minutes. I want to run a marathon where my second half isn't 20+ minutes slower than my first half.
My friend Lindsay's mom emailed me after the marathon asking how I did. I sent her the link to my recap. Among other inspiring things, Judy wrote "Marathons are really hard on everyone (even though not everyone is as honest)."
I'm brutally honest with you guys about my bi-polar relationship with running. It's almost abusive. I love it. I can't live without it. Yet, sometimes it tortures me and I struggle. I think I'm finally realizing that in order to have more love in my life for running, I need to train smarter.
I'm not running to the computer to sign up for another marathon. But if I do run another (which I think I will), I need stronger workouts. I spent yesterday morning strategizing with Corey on how I can do this. We've come up with this: I will run 4 days a week, with each run having a solid purpose. I'm consistent with my Speed Workouts so I will continue those. I will also add a Tempo Run where I learn to hold a faster-than-comfortable-pace for longer-than-comfortable. I will do a "Marathon Pace" Run between 4-8 miles. My projected marathon goal pace will be 9 minutes. I want to run as close to a 4 hour marathon as possible. There I SAID IT. And lastly, I will do a Long Run and I will spend more time keeping a consistent pace.
I'm determined to become the runner I know in my heart I SHOULD BE. And I going to attack these goals this summer.
This is where I SHOULD BE:
10 Miles- 1:20
Half Marathon- 1:49
Marathon- Anywhere between 4-4:15
I'm going to give myself some time off distance training before I refocus myself on reaching my goals. I am going to rely on the runners who I respect so much- my brother, Leah, Corey, Lauren and Emily. Together with Becky, we are going to finish a marathon PROUD of our efforts.
** Oh and to my food blogger buddies- I have a plan for next week so expect to see food on this blog soon! I promise!**