I shouldn't be that surprised that running is so difficult for me, but somehow I am. My running in 2011 has been less than spectacular. I ran great January-March even setting a new PR in the Half. Then I ran Boston on very little training and after it took me awhile to get focused again. In June I set PRs in both the 5K and 10K. I thought I was back!
|Why don't I look that happy while running anymore?|
So, basically, I wasn't in the best of shape BEFORE I was pregnant. Then I got pregnant and I've had a really hard time having an active pregnancy. I wake up with massive headaches everyday and sometimes the only cure is throwing up. When I was training, I did most of my workouts in the morning. But with how awful I feel in the AM, that was out of the question. In the first month of my pregnancy, I was scared to run at all. I could feel weird stretches and cramps in my stomach and I didn't want to risk anything while my baby was developing. Then when I was ready to start running again, my body was not.
I probably workout about 3X a week. Every time I put on workout clothes, I set out to run only to be disappointed by what my body is capable of. Pretty much every time I go to the gym or run outside, I want to run a 5K as fast as I can, and that time is usually around 40 minutes with walking breaks. You see, I'll start off running, I'll feel okay. Then I need to walk, so I walk a quarter mile or a half mile and then try to run again. And that cycle continues until I've hit 3.1. I know something is better than nothing, but I generally get off the treadmill feeling more depressed then refreshed. Am I just weak mentally? Am I imagining that this is too hard? Why can't I push myself? These are the questions I've been struggling with.
It doesn't help when I read other pregnancy blogs where women were still racing and PRing in their second trimester. Now, I'm not the type of person that compares myself to others. I get jealous easily but I try not to judge myself against others, but it's not easy.
All my life, in order to maintain my weight, I've had to run. I know gaining weight is healthy for my baby, but it does seem like I'm gaining it at an aggressive speed. Working out and running has always kept me sane and without that rush of adrenaline, I feel a bit lost.
But in order to turn this already depressing post into something positive, I'll leave you with this thought. My mom has really been helping me a lot through all of this. Her biggest message is to let my body do what it needs to do while pregnant and just use it as EXTRA motivation to lose the excess weight after the baby comes. Because to me the most important thing is having a healthy baby.
If walk-running is what my body needs for now, that is what I will do. I am fortunate to live so close to many state parks and reservoirs because views like this have been keeping me positive. And of course I love going on these walks with my husband as well.