Thursday, February 23, 2012

Three Things Thursday

There really is no right way to transition from a tribute to my fathers life to anything else seamlessly.  I had planned to write about some awesome recipes I made using pepperoni, but it just seems odd to talk about food right now.  I have been cooking a ton lately so hopefully I'll get those posts up soon!  But for now, enjoy my snarkiness....

I stole Three Things Thursday from Melissa Nibbles.  She partakes in this every week and I always look forward to it.  I often think of my own to write, but I'm usually too big of a wimp to actually post. But this week, I'm in the mood. In case you don't know, this is a list where I get to complain about the things that have been annoying me this week. So here we go.

1. "My thoughts and prayers are with you." Is this just something people say when they don't know what else to say?  I guess I just 100% do not understand this line.  To me, it's just words with no meaning.  If you're going to go out of your way to write me a card or send an email during this difficult time, please come up with SOMETHING more meaningful to write.
(I know this makes me seem like an ungrateful bia@$#tch.  But I'm grieving.  And receiving notes with that phrase and nothing else makes me angry.)

  • Facebook and Pinterest. I am so happy that you FINALLY discovered the beauties of Pinterest my dear Facebook friends, BUT, you really need to uncheck the button that you share all your pins + who you're following on facebook.  Because I DON'T CARE.  And you're clogging my News Feed.  
Here is a perfect example and just so happens to be at the top of my News Feed currently.

See that button in the lower corner when you repin?  Uncheck it.  Please.
You could also turn off linking to other outlets.  It's annoying.

  • Facebook and Babies. Yes, I know I'm pregnant and I should be all about pictures of 'friends' cute baby pictures all over facebook.  But I'm not.  I find it annoying and wish these people would start baby blogs instead of posting a million of the same iPhone pics to facebook.  Use facebook for the good stuff; the pictures where your baby looks adorable and does something worth mentioning.  Otherwise, you are just wasting my time.  On the same note, when did all my 'friends' have babies?  I wake up to a constant newsfeed of Mom's complaining about their babies lack of sleep, or gas issues, or a million other problems.  Again, I wish the moms on fb would find a new outlet to relay this information on ... I don't know... a BABY forum or Twitter.  

  • Facebook and Food. Melissa touched on this on her post today and I couldn't agree more. Even more, I really can't stand when people take unattractive photos of their dinners and post it to facebook like it's the biggest thing they've ever done.  Congratulations, I eat and make dinners every night too. 

3. Commuters.  I have two pretty big pet peeves that I talk about wayyy too much.
  • First, as most of you know, I commute from the 'burbs into the city daily.  I am part of that large crew of people that walk to and from South Station every day.  I am not however, part of the idiot crew that like to follow each other across big intersections during rush hour traffic without paying attention.  This drives me NUTS.  You're leaving work and still have work to do, I get it.  You're looking at your blackberry while walking, I get it. But then you cross the street even though the light is green because you saw another idiot doing the same?  I don't get it.  I witness people almost get hit by cars daily.  And I have to ask - What's the rush?  Is that extra 30 seconds really going to kill you?  Well, it might.
  • Second, I really, REALLY do not understand why people on the train feel the need to stand up and line up LONG before we reach our destination.  This morning I was sitting in the first set of seats next to the door.  I was getting off at the next stop.  I was sitting on the outside.  AKA, I have control.  Person sitting next to me says "Excuse me" way before we get to the station.  I kindly say, "I'm getting off here too and I'd like to wait for the train to stop." I know this bothers people but again, is it really necessary to stand in a line waiting to get off the train when I'm in the first seat? I mean when the train stops, I will get up and get off the train too. Plus the train never stops gracefully and people always go flying forward so I'd rather sit safely in my seat until it comes to a complete stop : )
Alright, you're turn.  What's annoying you this week?

Thursday, February 16, 2012

The Giants Win Was for You Dad

The last time I posted I was talking shit about the Giants and raving about my beloved New England Patriots. Oh and talking about Superbowl food.  I really believed there was no way in hell my Patriots were going to lose to the Giants... again.  And in those two + weeks that I've been silent on this blog, the Giants not only won the Superbowl, but I lost my father, one of the biggest Giants fans I know.

I don't talk too much about my personal life on this blog. It just doesn't feel comfortable to tell you all everything about me when I have no idea who you are.  But writing is therapeutic and I know I have to get these feelings out.
My father's life was cut way too short.  His death made me realize how unfair life can be.  It made me realize how the world is full of IF's.  And not having enough time.

I remember while watching the Superbowl unfold, I looked up at the clock and saw we had :57 seconds left.  Under a minute for a miracle.  But in my heart I knew it was too late.  And when the Giants won, I immediately started to tear up.  I said to myself, "that was for you Dad."

The next day I took the day off of work and I spent a lot of time listening to sports radio.  The announcers kept saying things like: "If Brady didn't throw that interception..." "If Welker made that catch..." "IF, IF, IF." I cried while driving because in so many ways that one football game symbolized what I was going through with my father's life.

On Thursday February 9th, my father passed away at the way too young age of 68 due to complications from Triple Bypass Surgery.

I've spent the last few days wishing I had more time with him.  Wishing I had more answers. Wishing we hadn't grown so far apart in the last five years.  Wishing he had met my nephews.  Wishing he could meet my future son. I kept thinking "what if?"  What if he didn't have the surgery?

My fathers funeral was on Sunday and over 75 people showed up.  A lot of people had great memories of my father. The truth was my dad was a big kid at heart.  He lived his life according to his plan and his weaknesses shaped his unique personality.

To paraphrase from my brothers eulogy, "if a persons life is measured by the memories he's left behind, my father has no equal."
I'm sure all the people who showed up at his funeral had numerous stories about my father.  And although my father was a complex man, he did have a very kind, giving heart.
My father captured our lives growing up through polaroids and with the worlds largest video camera known to man.  As soon as those video cameras went on the market, my dad had to get one.  And throughout my childhood, that video camera was always there.  Making videos in the 80s and 90s left a huge impact on me and was probably a huge reason why I majored in film in college and continue to make a career in the field. When I look back on my childhood, I think back to my track meets.  I think back to looking up in the stands before a big race and seeing my dad cheering his face off while carrying his big, bulky video camera.

I wish things could have ended differently for my father.  I wish I could have more time with him.  I wish so many things but in the end sometimes there are no answers. But the memories of my father will live on forever...