I shouldn't be that surprised that running is so difficult for me, but somehow I am. My running in 2011 has been less than spectacular. I ran great January-March even setting a new PR in the Half. Then I ran Boston on very little training and after it took me awhile to get focused again. In June I set PRs in both the 5K and 10K. I thought I was back!
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| Why don't I look that happy while running anymore? |
So, basically, I wasn't in the best of shape BEFORE I was pregnant. Then I got pregnant and I've had a really hard time having an active pregnancy. I wake up with massive headaches everyday and sometimes the only cure is throwing up. When I was training, I did most of my workouts in the morning. But with how awful I feel in the AM, that was out of the question. In the first month of my pregnancy, I was scared to run at all. I could feel weird stretches and cramps in my stomach and I didn't want to risk anything while my baby was developing. Then when I was ready to start running again, my body was not.
I probably workout about 3X a week. Every time I put on workout clothes, I set out to run only to be disappointed by what my body is capable of. Pretty much every time I go to the gym or run outside, I want to run a 5K as fast as I can, and that time is usually around 40 minutes with walking breaks. You see, I'll start off running, I'll feel okay. Then I need to walk, so I walk a quarter mile or a half mile and then try to run again. And that cycle continues until I've hit 3.1. I know something is better than nothing, but I generally get off the treadmill feeling more depressed then refreshed. Am I just weak mentally? Am I imagining that this is too hard? Why can't I push myself? These are the questions I've been struggling with.
It doesn't help when I read other pregnancy blogs where women were still racing and PRing in their second trimester. Now, I'm not the type of person that compares myself to others. I get jealous easily but I try not to judge myself against others, but it's not easy.
All my life, in order to maintain my weight, I've had to run. I know gaining weight is healthy for my baby, but it does seem like I'm gaining it at an aggressive speed. Working out and running has always kept me sane and without that rush of adrenaline, I feel a bit lost.
But in order to turn this already depressing post into something positive, I'll leave you with this thought. My mom has really been helping me a lot through all of this. Her biggest message is to let my body do what it needs to do while pregnant and just use it as EXTRA motivation to lose the excess weight after the baby comes. Because to me the most important thing is having a healthy baby.
If walk-running is what my body needs for now, that is what I will do. I am fortunate to live so close to many state parks and reservoirs because views like this have been keeping me positive. And of course I love going on these walks with my husband as well.
Oh Lizzy! I'm so sorry you're struggling. It sucks that you've had some extra strong symptoms. But run/walking 3x/week really IS great and is much more than most pregnant women can do. Running for me got easier after week 20, so I'll keep my fingers crossed that it does for you too :)
ReplyDeleteHi Lizzy, I just discovered your blog and am so insanely grateful. It's so amazing to hear the honesty around how you feel. No one said that when your pregnant, everything you want and work for just goes out the window, because you're going to be a mom. You're still you, just you plus another person. ;-) I just so encourage you, from one stranger to another, to let yourself feel your feelings, love them, respect them, and then of course to listen to your body. Sending you support.
ReplyDeleteLizzy, of course you are allowed to voice your opinion! I bet I would be a basketcase if I couldn't run either...but your mom is totally right, and I think it helps to try to put things into perspective every day. Every woman's body responds to pregnancy differently, and unfortunately that's just out of our control. Having a healthy baby and keeping yourself sane and happy are definitely the most important things. It's great that you're taking walks and enjoying that. Focus on what you can do as much as possible...everything will fall into place just the way it should be. Your body knows best :)
ReplyDeleteLizzy! Email me :) Running is up and down when you are preggo. Some days I couldn't run 5 minutes before stopping and walking home and other days I could run 10 miles. It depends on what is happening with the baby!! xoxo
ReplyDeleteHang in there my friend. I know how tough this must be for you - I would also go crazy if I couldn't run. But your body is doing very important work right now, and I second your mom - just trust in it. I hope things get easier as the weeks go by. And I really hope that you'll feel less sick and be able to run again. For now, I think the fact that you are out there and doing SOMETHING (even if it's not as much as you want to do) is awesome. I know many woman who didn't exercise at all during pregnancy. They said they didn't feel great, so used that as an excuse to be completely sedentary for 9 months. I think the fact that you are out there trying is incredibly inspirational. And I think your honesty about it is refreshing. Pregnancy affects everyone differently. You are not less of a runner because you can only run/walk right now. Remember you have said to me before - whether you're running 40 or 6 miles a week - you will ALWAYS be a runner. xo
ReplyDeleteI'm 23 weeks today and I feel your pain. While I am back to running 2ce a week, its SUPER slow, and can be VERY frustrating. I am competitive and live to break my running records, but I have to give into this little boy right now and remind myself that sometimes just getting out there is half the battle. Also, I gained 12 lbs in the first trimester. I went from working out hard 6 days a week with a min of an hour a session to a half effort for 30 mins most days. The dr said not to be too concerned with that, as it happens when super active women cannot do what they did previously. Keep your head up and your eye on the prize. I also remind myself that luckily, I live in MA and the winters are tough to run in anyways :) I know its hard, if you ever want to commiserate, just give a shout!
ReplyDeleteI agree with everyone else - your body is doing what's best for you and the baby right now. But I honestly think if the running/walking combination is frustrating, you should just find the workout that makes you happy for now. It might be walking only, or maybe swimming or classes at the gym, etc. You know you're a great runner and you'll be a great runner again when the time is right, so for now, just do the workouts that keep you healthy, energized, and happy!
ReplyDeleteThanks for sharing, Lizzy. I'm sorry running hasn't been easy recently. Like everyone has said, your body is doing something pretty amazing right now. Don't be so hard on yourself - it's pretty admirable you are even putting on your workout clothes. You'll be back running in no time and will have a healthy baby cheering you on!
ReplyDeleteBaby 1, I exercised (not running) through the week of his birth. Baby 2, I didn't care. Baby 3, I tried to run through, determined not to add more excess weight, but got sick everytime. After a couple months I gave up. You aren't alone, its definitely a struggle. I hope you find what works for you.
ReplyDeleteThis has got to be tough, especially since you finally felt like you wanted to get back into it again. I think that it's so important to listen to your body during this time... and embrace the run/walking. It's still getting outside to enjoy the gorgeous scenery you have around, and helping you and the baby! {{hugs}}
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry to hear about your running struggles :( But you are doing something even more amazing than what any runner can do, you're growing a beautiful little human inside of you! And what is even more amazing is that you're still getting yourself out there and trying to run. I would think about it the way people tell you "its your race" but thinking this is "my run" and you can go however fast and slow you want to.
ReplyDeleteHonestly I appreciate the honesty. I think sometimes women make pregnancy seem like it's all rainbows and sunshine and it's not for everyone I would imagine. Hang in there. As others have said, I think you're doing the right thing by listening to your body and taking things day by day.
ReplyDeleteLizzy! I know exactly what you're going through, and I wish I could give you a huge hug right now and then go for a pregnant walk/run with you. Learning to accept the changes that pregnancy brings to your body can be extremely difficult. You want to stay healthy for the baby, but you also want to run and do everything you did before. I have to say, and this sounds horrible but it's true, that I resent pregnancy at times because I feel so out of my own body. I feel so much not like myself.
ReplyDeleteI have to say that the only thing that keeps me sane is the thought of coming back stronger and faster next year after baby arrives. And you will, too! You will get through this phase, and you will find your way back to the road when the time is right. Hang in there! If you ever need to vent, send an e-mail my way :)
Ugh, I feel you!!! Since about week 6, I have been doing the walk/run thing and trying NOT to compare myself to other pregnant bloggers who are able to still run fairly fast. I just have to remind myself that my body is different from theirs and I have found some new workouts that I love. I started going to Bar Method classes and love them.
ReplyDeleteI also have trouble staring at the scale. I am at my highest weight also and wasn't in the best shape before this pregnancy. I was still holding onto weight from my previous pregnancy and the surgery for miscarriage. What is saving me is that I am going to do the NYCM next year and I keep calling that my comeback marathon. You will get back to that too, maybe you just need a goal for next year. Hugs and it gets better when you start showing :)
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I think you need to adjust your expectations and like your mom says, just focus on having a healthy baby. It will take weight gain and physical activity at a level you aren't used to (of course you're not, it's your first pregnancy... and from what I hear, even second pregnancies can be completely different from the first). So take it easy on yourself. Definitely keep moving (walking is great!). I think it's actually a great time to develop a healthy relationship with food and exercise since you don't have the usual pressures to be/look a certain way.
ReplyDeletePS - I want to see you!! :)
Doing anything while pregnant is great. It doesn't have to be hardcore running, I think run-walk while pregnant is great! Think of it this way - some pregnant mothers eat like crap as they are "eating for two" and don't exercise. You're trying. That's all you can do.
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